About That Girl-Boss Superhero Movie...

The reviews for Madame Web are out, and they aren't pretty.

This is the Disparu video - Madame Web Reviews NUKE Marvel Flop - Worst EVER Claim Critics, in which he goes thru a lot of reviews. And laughs at how badly the movie is panned. It is 20 minutes, but for most of it, you can just have it on in the background.

Let's look at some of the reviews.

When a major Hollywood studio can't count on Variety to shill for it, you know things are bad. ‘Madame Web’ Review: Any Way You Spin It, Dakota Johnson’s Marvel Entry Feels Superfluous.

When I was a kid, my mom steered us toward toys that looked like G.I. Joe or Transformers action figures, but weren’t. Their faces were wack, the joints all wrong, such that the limbs didn’t move right, or else they popped out altogether. Sure, these off-brand imitations cost less than the real thing — that made a difference on my meager allowance — but no amount of imagination could turn my busted GoBots into Optimus Prime.

Now, if 10-year-old me could’ve predicted the future (the way Cassie Webb can), he would’ve seen this disappointment as valuable practice for a movie like “Madame Web,” a hollow Sony-made Spider-Man spinoff with none of the charm you expect from even the most basic superhero movie.

Things only go downhill from there.

From Rolling Stone: ‘Madame Web’ Isn’t As Bad As You’ve Heard. It’s So Much Worse

Dakota Johnson's Spidey-adjacent misadventure — about a paramedic with arachnid-based psychic powers — is the 'Cats' of superhero movies

That's gonna leave a mark. Cats? Really?

Well, having now seen this tangled-up IP gossamer firsthand, we can say that Madame Web isn’t as bad as its somewhat botched promotional campaign might suggest. It is, in fact, way worse. A genuine Chernobyl-level disaster that seems to get exponentially more radioactive as it goes along, this detour to one of the dustier corners of Marvel’s content farm is a dead end from start to finish.

They hit on the Cats reference more than once.

Several people have said that Morbius is better. That is another Spider-Man film that doesn't include Spider-Man. I saw Morbius, long after it was in the theater. I don't remember if I saw if for free or for very little money, but I do remember how awful it was. It lost a tremendous amount of money. This should do so as well.

Do we expect Hollywood to stop making movies that are nothing but Woke Screeds with no real story, no real characters, and no real hope of making any money? I don't expect them to stop. That is why Disney is opening an animation studio far away from Los Angeles. I expect the rest of the industry will move eventually, because Hollywood is brain dead. It is only a matter of time before it is actually dead.