Another Marvel Movie I Won't Be Seeing - Thunderbolts*

A review of Thunderbolts* by Alan Ng from Film Threat.

The first problem is apparently the cast of thousands, mostly consisting of people I don't know or care about when I do know.

Hopefully, you’ve been watching every Disney+ Marvel series because you know that Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) has been authorizing covert operations around the world using B-Level superheroes as her pawns. These heroes include Alternate Captain America, John Walker (Wyatt Russell), Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen) from Ant-Man and the Wasp, and Taskmaster (Olga Kurylenko) from Black Widow. Of course, we also have Black Widow’s sister, Yelena (Florence Pugh), and father, Alexei, also known as Red Guardian (David Harbour), in the mix.

And here is the reason I won't be seeing the movie.

Here’s the problem with Thunderbolts*. It’s supposed to be a superhero film, but it’s not. It’s part sit-com. Every line of the film comprises humorous one-liner dialogue and jokey lines. Red Ghost is probably the only person who should be a joke, but we have a team of characters who don’t like one another and can only express their displeasure through joking around and bustin’ balls. Unless there’s some exposition that needs to be dropped, it’s one mildly humorous line after the other. If the characters on screen refuse to take the situation seriously, then why should we?

The current set of writers and producers for Marvel can't seem to take the franchise seriously. Go back and watch the first Tobey Maguire/Sam Raimi Spider-Man from 2002, the movie that basically kicked off the era of superhero films that actually made money. That movie from 2002 took itself seriously. The sequel to that movie also took itself seriously. Were there jokes? Of course. But it wasn't one joke after another. The current set of superhero movies don't take themselves seriously, and don't make money.

In the end, Alan Ng gave this movie a score of 3 out of 10.

From Alan Ng's description in the article, and what he and Chris Gore say in the video, they are apparently trying to reproduce Guardians of the Galaxy, or The Avengers, or The Suicide Squad, or something similar, and they have failed.

I am also tired of both the current set of superhero movies coming out of Hollywood - I wonder what lectures about politics are included in this one - and I am really tired of ensemble movies. They work best when they include characters I care about, but Ghost, and Taskmaster, and Alternate Captain America don't fit that bill, and while Florence Pugh and David Harbour are good actors, I just don't care about the characters they are playing.

Not only will I not pay to see this, I will probably not watch it when it is on streaming, unless friends insist. (And yes, I do see movies - rarely - in a theater; a national chain that is near me shows matinees for less than 7 bucks, and even cheaper on Tuesday.)

This the Film Threat review of Thunderbolts* from Hollywood On The Rocks. The video is much longer, but I have it queued up to to the start of the review.

I trust Alan Ng and Chris Gore. They say when movies are bad, and when they are good. I agree more with Alan than Chris, but then Chris admits that he likes odd-ball, independent films. Me, not so much.

And since I don't have the patience to go through a whole bunch of reviews, I just rely on Disparu to do that. He finds comedy in the movie reviews. Here is his meta review of reviews. Thunderbolts Critic Reviews Gave Me DEPRESSION. It is 23 minutes, but is likely more entertaining than the 27 minute therapy session, which is actually in the movie.