St. Patrick's Day in Chicago

The festivities in Chicago aren't always what you would expect. Unless you know Chicago, and then they are exactly what you expect. HeyJackass! brings us St. Patrick's Stupidity.

Although Monday was actually St Patrick's Day, HeyJackass! stops counting on Monday morning, because all of the festivities, from the dying of the river to the drinking and shooting really happen Friday through Sunday. So the stats are Friday noon through 6 AM on Monday.

The river will be dyed, the parades will march and the bars will be at full vomit-inducing capacity. Additionally, the weather is agreeable to both drunken revelers and subsequent walks of shame while fueling the usual nonsense elsewhere around town.

The totals were as follows:

Final Vomit Tally: 2 killed, 24 wounded
2024 weekend tally: 5 killed, 18 wounded
2023 weekend tally: 1 killed, 17 wounded

There are links to a couple of stories, including one about a woman who opened fire in a liquor store for no apparent reason. (She was shot in turn by a bystander.) And the story of a 13-year-old who was shot and laid in a yard for 4 hours because no one called 911 to report gunshots. He didn't survive. The block had been monitored by ShotSpotter, but Mayor Brandon Johnson called ShotSpotter Raaaacist, and canceled the contract as of 23 September 2024.

That story is as follows. From CWB Chicago: Cops find ‘approximately teenage’ victim fatally shot in yard, but nobody called 911 about gunfire. The block used to have ShotSpotter

Chicago police officers on routine patrol found a murder victim lying dead in Lawndale overnight. Investigators were unable to immediately identify the victim, but a CPD media statement said he appeared to be “approximately teenage.” (Update: Family members told media outlets the boy was 13 years old.)

Nobody called 911 to report shots fired in the area before the boy was found shot in the head in the backyard of a home in the 1500 block of South Kildare around 2:10 a.m. Shell casings were lying nearby.

Now maybe he was killed instantly. We will never know. But there are clearly cases, where people survive, where ShotSpotter would have gotten them help sooner, and there cases were people died, where it might have made a difference. And since the bad guys were long gone, and there are no witnesses, there will be no justice. There rarely is these days

CWB Chicago has a series called "Brandon's Bodies." 37 people have been shot on streets, or in areas previouly monitored by ShotSpotter, in which no one called 911 to report gunfire, or a victim. Details are at the bottom of the CWB Chicago story linked above.

Such is the Progressive Paradise of Chicago under Mayor Brandon Johnson.

The image above is of the Chicago River, as dyed for St. Patrick's day from a few years back. People never believe that they dye the river. It's amazing what you can do with food coloring when you buy it in 55 gallon drums. If you look on YouTube or X you should be able to find video of the acutal dying of the river this year by the city.