10 September 2022

Naked Florida Man Nearly Gets Shot

Florida Man is a never-ending source of insanity. Pensacola homeowner fires shot at naked man found in home: ECSO reports | WKRG

So what would you do if you came home to find a naked man in your kitchen? A Florida couple came home to find exactly that.

According to the arrest report, on Sept. 6, deputies responded to a shots fired disturbance. Upon arrival, the victim said she entered their residence through the side door entrance that they left unlocked. Upon entering, the victim said that Garcia was standing on top of the landing in the kitchen inside of their home. The victim said she asked Garcia who he was, and Garcia responded, “PawPaw Don said I can be here, he lets me shower.”

The husband went for a 410 gauge shotgun (which journalists INSIST on calling .410 gauge) he kept for self-defense. The undressed guy had pushed him, and he was able to push the shotgun barrel toward the ceiling and then run out the front door.

Garcia unlocked the front door, jumped the hedges, hollered for “pawpaw” and began to flee towards Cerny Village.

Deputies said they made contact with a witness who was the next-door neighbor to the victims, and she said that she was walking from her backyard towards the front corner of her house when she heard a “boom that sounded like fireworks.” She then said that Garcia came onto her property and said, “Do you remember me?”

He was then running around the complex making "weird arm and hand movements."

Deputies were able to arrest him. There were no drug charges listed, which I had suspected to be the case, though I suppose that they could be added in the future. But then maybe Florida Man doesn't need drugs for stuff like this.

Self-defense is a human-right, and this didn't take place in Manhattan.

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